“Hellooooo Avengers ! Who takes the Tesseract takes the universe ! But bad news everyone, ‘cause guess who ! Ah ! Except you lot, you’re all whizzing about, it’s really very distracting. Could you all just kneel because I AM TALKING ! Now, the question for the hour is, “Who’s got the Tesseract?” Answer: I do. Next question: “Who’s coming to take it from me?” Come on, look at me ! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else: I don’t have anything to lose ! So, if you’re sitting up there in your silly flashy suits or with all your silly little guns, and you’ve got any plans on taking the Tesseract tonight, just remember who’s standing in your way ! Remember every black day I ever fooled you, and then, and then ! Do the smart thing ! Let somebody else try first.”
2. 2. 1. B. Long ago, the consultants of Baker Street lived together in (relative) harmony. Then, everything changed when Moriarty attacked. Only Sherlock Holmes, master of deductive science, could stop him, but when I needed him most, he vanished. Almost three years have passed and I’ve discovered that I can’t move on; my heart belongs on Baker Street. And although my friend Sherlock Holmes is dead, I wait every day for a miracle. Because I believe in Sherlock Holmes.
i was watching scooby doo and i’ve been inspired to become a scooby doo villain
i’m gonna go online and purchase an expensive chewbacca suit and have it mailed to an alternate address so the shipping record won’t link directly to me
then when night falls i’ll dress in the chewbacca suit and begin sprinting around the city, lurking in trees and knocking over trashcans and occasionally pressing my face against windows and people will pee their pants thinking there’s a local bigfoot on the loose
eventually i’ll start stealing things because i’m fairly sure that’s one of the qualifications of scooby doo villainy
nothing serious obviously maybe a few yachts and a porsche just for the sake of driving in a porsche while dressed as chewbacca
i’ll continue doing this but avoid ever being seen directly so i’ll just become the local myth who everyone swears is real and shows up out of nowhere and terrorizes children and steals thing and mysteriously protects an abandoned mansion
this will work because scooby doo doesn’t exist, therefore i’m in no danger of ever being discovered
OH YEEHAW THA FORF OF JULY, time for the awful racist slobs of Lexington, Kentucky to put on their best “warding off the coloreds and the Muslins” finery in honor of Jesus, Hitler and Thomas Jefferson. Do you like seeing the hate-bomb that is puking all over the American flag, on this man’s t-shirt? Does it capture your patriotic spirit? He will sell you another, to wear to the parade! This is how serious the birth control situation is in Kentucky, because broken condoms result in tragedies like this man, selling apparel to people who want to honor America’s founding dressed like hobo Klansmen. Were there even other tragic people interested in buying from him, or was his booth FOR SOME UNIMAGINABLE REASON labeled “Tea Party Fox News” on the front? SEE THE ANSWER after the jump:
Yes, the brown “INFIDEL” t-shirts read, “Everything I Need to Know About Islam I Learned on 9/11,” which is why they are calling themselves “infidels,” for irony.
So anyway the moral of the story is we are sorry for whoever lives in Lexington, Kentucky.
i fucking like this. like for real, all these white motherfuckers should be forced to wear those shirts when they support and endorse racist policy and institutions and when they spout racial stereotypes and hate. let us know the white people we gotta be around and who we should avoid (though there are so many it’s hard to avoid). i support this, except they shouldn’t make money. make these shirts, pay for them all, and then go broke after making enough for the country full of white racists.
^^ Yeah, I’d prefer it if racists and other oppressors were to clearly label themselves so I could avoid interacting with them in public.
Now I want to start a fake Zazzle store with “YUP, I’m a racist” “YUP, I’m a sexist” “YUP, I’m a homophobe” t-shirts and pretend to be all serious and then donate the proceeds to various liberal causes.
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened.”—Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (via meggannn)